So tonight we are going to enter the mind of Heather and the things that I've been thinking about and such. Its just gonna be me thinking through my fingers so feel free to not read, but your comments are always welcome! *Warning: This is gonna be long! *
School: I will be starting my 4th year of school, and i need to be honest and say that I'm ready to be done. But nooooo i still have at least 2 years to go. I was really close to making the decision of coming back to Rochester to finish my education classes, until i found out today that at this campus you have to start the program in the fall because classes are only offered once a year. So now im stuck again. Finish school at winona and be completely poor, take a semester off and work so i can go here, find a different school in totally different city or drop out of school and become a full time SACC employee; those are my options. Trying my best to trust God's plan and not focus on my own, so hard to just walk and not know where i'm suppose to go.
Weddings/Boys: Ok so i had a dream that a certain guy proposed to me a couple nights ago. (most of you can guess who it was) It was a great dream because i was really shocked and super excited. I shared this dream with my family and they all think i secretly am wanting or thinking about marrying this guy. Then i had to explain to them again, that we're just friends and i have no desire so marry anyone at the moment, just because the whole world is getting married doesnt mean i want to. Ok yeah I'm 21 and have never had a real relationship, but i think i've gotten used to being single; spending my nights reading the Bible and praying has become an essential part of each day. I've always been a friend and I think I'm really good at that. God will plop the right guy in my path soon enough and i'll be ready. Haha i just pictured some guy falling from the sky and landing in front of me on the street. "Hello. God just threw me over here he said it was time" (coincedence that im watching the movie "4 weddings and a funeral", always attending weddings but never the bride or in the characters case the groom)
Love: I think going from weddings to this is appropriate. My recent goal in life is to love everyone no matter the circumstance. I found that caring about others and helping them with their problems as much as possible is much more rewarding than worrying about myself. I've found that 90% of my prayers are about other people, i suppose i should focus on myself occasionally so God can show me where to go and what to do. One of my best friends has been struggling with some things and my heart aches for them because all i can do is pray and be there to listen. I forget all my problems and focus on that person for the time i'm with them. Some good verses: " Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. " -Psalm 63:3 "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:11-13 I've been sharing my recent desire for love with a couple people heres a comment someone wrote about me in her xanga: "Heather's comment on my last entry gave me a spark to write about something that I've kinda been working on all summer.... and that is love, love for others, God's love for us, our love for God... just love." Good to know that i'm helping someone a little!
Baptism: Ok so a lot of you know how i've been struggling with this for awhile. Its still there in the back of my head every day. So hard to turn away from something i've believed my whole life and something my whole family believes in (including 99% of extended fam units) Eric has been so patient and helpful in helping me through my thoughts and all other prayers are greatly appreciated. Keep praying for guidance and figuring out who, what, when, where, if and how.
So this entry is totally different than most other entries because i dont usually share my thoughts just my oh so exciting happenings and work stories. I would also like to make this my one year anniversary blog. Heather's world began one year ago on the 14th! yay! Dont expect this again for awhile. To end it i'm gonna qoute a couple songs:
"So let my life become a testimony of my Savior's grace and love Oh - this is my heart's cry - to stand before the Father one day And hear Him say well done - this is my heart's cry" -SCC
"I want to make much of You, Jesus I want to make much of Your love I want to live today to give You the praise That You alone are so worthy of I want to make much of Your mercy I want to make much of Your cross I give You my life Take it and let it be used" - SCC
"Be still and know that He is God Be still and know that He is faithful Consider all that he has done Stand in awe and be amazed And know that He will never change Be still" -SCC
5 comments:
OK....You asked for comments so here I come, right at you Heather.I will not beat around the bush, I will be honest,and will continue to pray for you as I do all my kids friends :)
SCHOOL... Well Heather, I think Winona is a good place for you.I think GOD closed the door to RCTC for a reason, a reason that has not been revealed to you as of yet.I dont think you will be poor, I think that you are a good manager of money, just from things Brie has said. And most kids do end up in debt, that's the part of being in your 20's that sucks, but it's real and you will be able to handle it. You need to be a teacher, You have great teaching qualities and it seems to me like that is what you want to be...so go for it.
WEDDINGS... Your having wedding dreams cuz that's what girls your age do. You all start dreaming about the day you will be married. Oh Heather, God has Already chosen your Husband. Contuinue to be patient, HE will put him right in front of you, Keep your eyes open, shelter your heart cuz he isn't gonna come out of a feeling. He's gonna be pretty special, as they always are. God's perfect timing is there, He will honor you as you are honoring him in prayer.
DELIGHT YOURSELF ALSO IN THE LORD,AND HE SHALL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART. PSALM 37:4
LOVE... You got it girlfriend, just dont forget to love yourself.
BAPTISM... You have had this on your heart for a long time Heather...Again God is speaking loud and clear, This is all about YOU heather, not what anyone else might think. I was in the same boat as you at your age. I decided after many long agonizing months to just go for it, even though my family would not "get it", I just never told them, That might seems wierd too, but I decided that I couldnt worry about their response. It was between God and me.I was baptized when i was 21. Baptism is a "shifty" thing. I truly believe it one of those biblical things that get interpreted in differnt ways. I think it easily gets mixed in with salvation. There are just too many versed that tell us that We are saved by faith alone, which Is my personal take on salvation, BUT....Jesus asked us in many verses to be baptized, So I thought it might be a good idea to do as he asks, To follow on our faith and Love for Jesus, by acting in obiediance and being Baptized because it's a decision that you have made for yourself. You and I were both baptized as a baby for our parents sake. As an adult,I had to do it for MY OWN sake. Whew....., should I just be quiet now???
Heather you are doing it all right. You are praying and asking for God's quidance. You have Good Christian friends that care about you and I know pray for you, as you do for them. Hang in there girlfriend, We are all a work in progress, God delights in our Love and testimony for him.
You are lovely Heather, Blessings to you.... jackie
He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of jesus Christ Philippians 1:6
Was that a blog or a comment???
Thanks for your comments and prayers Jackie, very much appreciated!! I also think your comment was longer than my blog. haha :)
i also ditto my mom because she is wise and i am also praying for you, but i hope you already know that :)
Thanks girls, you're the best. Happy Anniversary to me and my blog!! PARTY!!
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